Winehouse Jail Crisis

Friends of Celebrities
The first agency supplying grounded friends to celebrities
Monday 12th November 2007
http://www.friendsofcelebrities.com

It’s been a busy week in celebland. Loads of high profile bust-ups and legal wrangling. Here’s a roundup of the weeks news…

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Winehouse Could Be Lonely
For all the hoo-ha surrounding Amy Winehouse and hubby’s alleged heroin use, it turns out that Blake is a bit of a bad egg after all. He was due to go to court after assaulting a chap outside a pub. He had the bright idea of offering the guy £200,000 ($400,000) to drop the charges. However, the cunning guy went straight to the police and newspapers. The sentence for this serious crime is up to life imprisonment. He won’t get that but it could be a long time. Also, there will be claims that Amy knew nothing about it. Hmmmm, do you believe that?

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Good News for Amy
On the positive side for Amy – despite having difficulty getting a US work visa because of her drug trouble in Norway – she has been granted a permit to work in the US. So, at least she can busy herself at work while her husband does porridge.

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Pete Doherty Makes a Fool of his Fans
I feel sorry for the babyshambles followers. When a tape of Dog-herty shooting up was shown in the newspapers and blogs, they all leapt to his defence. ‘Where’s his new tattoo?’ ‘His hair is longer’. ‘Check your sources,’ they said. So the papers did and two days later he issued an apology for his relapse. He said it was stupid. But at least he got off some prison time while he was ‘clean’.

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Prince’s Fans are not so Appreciated
While Dog-herty’s fans rally round to support him, Princes fans are rallying around to attack the half-pint sized star. He is biting the hand that feeds him by suing all the fan sites that breech his copyright - by posting images of him.

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Relationships On:
Ashley Olsen +Lance Armstrong
Owen Wilson + Jessica Simpson
Paul McCartney + Nancy Shevall

Relationships Off:
PRINCE HARRY + CHELSEY

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This Weeks Top Celebrity Searches

1. Jessica Alba
2. Cameron Diaz
3. Nell McAndrew
4. Paris Hilton
5. Kate Middleton

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Be my friend at www.myspace.com/friendsofcelebrities

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Boyzone are the latest group to reform. This time it’s for charity. Look forward to a European tour and millions of extra cash for the boy band soon.

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Heather Loses Leg to Stand On.
Heather Mills has been fired by her own lawyers. She apparently kept calling her main guy while he was grieving and ignored everything they told her to do. The madwoman doesn’t care about what’s right, just what she wants. She claims to have been taping conversations with Paul which prove that he called Heather a one legged bitch. (Sounds about right to me.) She also says ‘it's clear from the tape that Paul has apologized for the marriage breakdown and how he treated her.’ Well, that sounds like he is a very nice man.

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Meanwhile…
Paul has been enjoying the company of someone who knows how to conduct herself during a separation, millionaire Nancy Shevell. He even popped into a lingerie shop to buy her a little surprise. Heather is apparently ‘livid’.

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Paparazzi – A Man Down
A Pap has sued Keanu Reeves after the star hit him with his Porsche 911. The Matrix hero’s defence – “He was in the way.” Although Reeves also says that any contact was un-intentional and, if any contact was made it was minimal.

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Michael Jackson Homeless
It makes me laugh when people say Michael Jackson is bankrupt. I’m sure some of his business affairs have gone down the pan, but there’s plenty more where they come from. Now his Neverland range will be repossessed unless he pays a £12 million debt. But as Jacko only has bad memories of child sex claims there, he won’t be sad to see the back of it.

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Britney’s Mum Takes the Blame
Ms Spears senior claims it’s her fault the star is troubled. She should have been with her through the loneliness of Britney’s world tour. Don’t be too hard on yourself, mum. But next time get one of the Friends of Celebrities to go with her. We know the meaning of going to bed early so you don’t get up late for work.

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Mickey Rourke Arrested
Mickey is no stranger to the long arm of the law, having been inside a couple of times before. When he got on his moped after leaving a bar, he was arrested by a traffic cop for drink driving. And taken to the cells for a night. As it turned out, he hadn’t been drinking at all. But before the cop had a chance to check, Rourke had said a rude word to him, and was marched off to the station for that instead. It’s just another day in the crazy life of a Hollywood hell-raiser!

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And finally…
I saw a headline saying ‘Madonna Appeals for Orphan’. I thought she was on the look out for a new child to adopt. But no, she is raising money for her charity work. Keep it up Madge!

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John
Founder of Friends of Celebrities