Next Weeks News - Winehouse Crack-Pipe Spiked

LONDON, ENGLAND – Singer Amy Winehouse has blamed her fall from grace and into drug addiction on one of her friends spiking her crack-pipe with an illegal substance, it was reported today. Sources close to the popstress also claimed that somebody could have even put a bit of crack on that tin foil that she was seen heating with a lighter for no reason – to deadly effects. “She believes that the person who spiked her drink with an ‘E’ tablet could be the same one putting crack all over the place and pouring VODKA in her orange juice.” said one close friend. “She’s going to get her Dad on whoever did this just to prove it’s not her fault. Meanwhile, Pete Doherty has been complaining of dizziness and strange euphoria after someone might have repeatly put something funny into his 'art' syringes and repeatedly and habitually injected this substance into his arms.

Sooty Drugs Shame

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CALIFORNIA, UNITED STATES: After taking into condsideration time in court, processing applications, filling out forms, cell time, sobering up and having alcohol monitors installed, Lindsay Lohans jail term of 24 hours has been reduced by so much that the courts OWE HER time.

After Nicole Richie only served 82 minutes of her 4 day sentence, Lindasy Lohans 24 hour term was reduced by the same amount. Meaning the court OWES HER 3 DAYS. Judge Morgan, who will serve the time back, will help mend the wheels on her Mercedes, which were damaged when she mounted the pavement, and hoovering up the cocaine that spilled on the sports car's floor as she crashed.