Tuesday, 30 October 2007


Please bear with us as we go through a few changes improving the website and blog. Type in your email bottom right to sign up and be considered for meeting one of our celebrity clients. Plus you can keep on top of the latest showbiz gossip with our weekly newsletter. Enjoy.

Drugs and Gay Sex Blackmail Royal Named

I'm not allowed to tell you who the member of royal family accused of coke taking and gay romp blackmail scandal. So, do not click here otherwise you'll find out. And if anyone asks, it wasn't me, right?

Arrrrghhhhhh! Halloween Special

Friends of Celebrities
The first agency supplying grounded friends to celebrities
Halloween Special 2007


Woooooaaaaaaah! Welcome to the first Friends of Celebrities Halloween Special. You MUST forward this email to 5 people otherwise you will be cursed with all the evils of celebrity, but with none of the money and fame. Pass it on and you will be as successful and happy as Justin Timberlake. (Wow, that guy is positive!) It’s easy. Enjoy…


Top Earning Dead Celebs
1. Kurt Cobain
2. Elvis Presley
3. Charles Schulz (Snoopy creator)
4. John Lennon
5. Albert Einstein
6. Andy Warhol
7. Dr Seuss
8. Ray Charles
9. Marilyn Monroe
10. Johnny Cash
11. J.R.R. Tolkien
12. George Harrison
13. Bob Marley


Celebrity Hooooooowlers
“So, Where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?” – Christina Aguilera

“I love British food – especially pasta.” – Kate Moss

“Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.” – Brooke Shields

“I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.” – Britney Spears

“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.” – Mariah Carey

“It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.” – Al Gore

“Sometimes, to win in football, you have to score goals” – England Soccer Coach Sven Goran Erikson.

“Is this chicken what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says Chicken of the Sea” – Jessica Simpson

“I think that the film 'Clueless' was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness.” - Alicia Silverstone


Visit my MySpace page at www.myspace.com/friendsofcelebrities and don’t be such a stranger.


Ghostly Story
This Halloween evening, if you dare, go to the mirror at two o’clock in the morning. Close your eyes and concentrate on the fact that you believe in ghosts. According to legend, if you think hard enough you can summon the faces of the dead. But be careful, do not step into the mirror if offered by a spirit, as the ghastly ghoul is tricking you into swapping their damned life of eternity in limbo for yours.


Celebrity Haunts: London
If you go out tonight, go to these places for your best chance of seeing a celebrity stumbling around like a zombie looking for the Cristal:
The Burlington Club
The Dorchester Hotel
The Groucho Club
The Ivy
The Wolseley
Le Caprice
Hawley Arms
Kingley Club


What Will Happen if You Don’t Pass this Email On
Harry Houdini (Erich Weiss) - magician 1926 --- ruptured appendix. He died on Halloween.

Brian Jones - musician, one-time Rolling Stone 1969 --- drowned in his swimming pool while drunk and on drugs.

Florence Griffith Joyner - US Olympic sprinter 1998 --- an epileptic seizure triggered by a brain abnormality. She died in her sleep at the age of 38.

Bruce Lee - actor 1973 --- died suddenly from a swollen brain.

John Lennon1980 --- shot to death by a mentally ill fan.

Tupac Shakur - musician 1996 --- murdered in drive-by shooting.

Diana Spencer - Princess of Wales 1997 --- car crash while eluding paparazzi.

Salvatore "Sonny" Bono 1998 --- crashed into a tree while skiing.

Jeff Buckley - musician 1997 --- drowned in the Mississippi River, near Mud Island Harbor, on May 29. His body wasn't found until June 4.

James Dean (James Byron) 1955 --- car crash.

Marc Bolan – musician T-Rex – overdose of a tree while driving.

So, pass this on to 5 people or else. Mwaa-ha-ha-ha-haaaaa.


Want to know the British Royal who was recently blackmailed and accused of drugs and gay sex? Visit friendsofcelebrities.com now!


For those of you who have received this email from a friends. Pass it on and be showered with the Joys of Justin Trousersnake. Ignore it at your peril, and be visited by the spirit of Anna Nicole Smith.

Seriously, if you don’t know, the Friends of Celebrities is the first agency supplying grounded friends to celebrities who need to keep it real, once in a while. Sign up at friendsofcelebries.com now. Simply give us your email and you could be meeting up with a celebrity for a beer in your local pub. Plus you’ll be kept up to date with all the latest showbiz gossip. Sign up now!!!

Please email your stories and tips for the website at john@friendsofcelebrities.com and keep helping the celebs, they need you.

Thanks for signing up and please tell your friends about us.

Founder of Friends of Celebrities

Sunday, 28 October 2007

Screwed Up Celebrity Quiz

The layout has changed but it's still the same amazing fun. Who is it this week? And don't forget to play all the previous Screwed Up Celebrities Quizzes by clicking here right now!

Hollywood is on Fire this Week!

Friends of Celebrities
The first agency supplying grounded friends to celebrities
Monday 29th October 2007


It ‘s been a hot week this week in every sense of the word. While the whole of L.A. has been fighting fires, our celebrities have been fighting, bullying, going to court and having their lips pumped full of collagen. Read on….


Fire. Fire. The roof is on fire.
We are here for all the celebs who had to leave their homes in the face of this week’s tragedy. I’m sure all us Friends of Celebrities have a spare sofa for them all to sleep on, don’t we? Stars who were affected include:

Jennifer Aniston
Courtney Cox
Mel Gibson
Pierce Brosnan
Jim Carrey
Bill Murray
James Cameron
Britney Spears
Pamela Anderson
Olivia Newton John
Robert Redford
Barbera Streisand
Richard Gere
Martin Sheen
And Courtney Love


Talking of Courtney Love
Luckily she wasn’t in Malibu at the time of the fires. But she still needed a sofa. She was told that 5 star hotel Claridges was ‘full’ when she tried to check in this week. But only for her. She has been banned from the posh hotel after she caused damage last time she stayed by – aptly – starting a fire.


Relationship Off:
Jennifer Aniston + Orlando Bloom
Nikki Graham + Chris Neal

Relationships On:
Chris Neal + Chantelle Houghton
Josh Hartnett + Rihanna
Jake Gyllanhaal + Reese Witherspoon (back on)


This Weeks Top Celebrity Searches

1. Jessica Alba
2. Cameron Diaz
3. Paris Hilton
4. Kate Middleton
5. Cat Deeley


Visit my MySpace page at www.myspace.com/friendsofcelebrities and don’t be such a stranger.


Doherty Back in Court
But his time he was praised by a judge and had his sentence slashed after kicking the crack. When asked if he intended to stay clean his less than enthusiastic reply was, “I suppose I’ll have to know.” However, by Friday he was spotted falling asleep in court.


Who dined at the Ivy this week?
Tom Cruise, Robert Redford, David Tennant and the grumpy old guy from ‘One Foot in the Grave’.


Congratulation to Borat and Isla Fisher who had a baby girl this week.


Britney Update
First every newspaper was talking about her new plumped up lips. Maybe she couldn’t see over them and that was why she ran over that photographer? Her parents were spotted driving to K-Feds place for crisis talks. Brits was spotted crying after leaving the first co-parent meeting with K-Fed and the boys. She also attended a parenting lesson. Ex-Princess (not the Black Eyed Peas one) Fergie said she would help the troubled star. And good news, charges of Hit and Run were dropped. Phew!


Copperfield Does Disappearing Act
Following allegations of rape, the conman conjurer has cancelled a tour of Asian. Lucky them!


Mel C Bullied Claims
Sporty Spice says she was bullied into the Spice Girls re-union for being a spoil-sport. She said she would never get back with the band but felt she had to after the others said they would do it ‘with or without her’. She eventually gave into the pressure. I think this is quite disrespectful to the fans (if she did feel that, she should keep schtum). But I’m still definitely going to see them - whether she wants to do it or not!


Elton’s Photo’s Not Child Porn
An art show was in chaos as one of the pictures, owned by Elton John, was seized by police fearing it could be child pornography. The picture by Nan Goldin shows a naked girl. However, the picture is, after all, art. Phew!


Congratulations Lee Evans
The stand up comedian has broken the world record for the biggest ever comedy performances. Selling out two days at the O2 in London, he will play to 15,000 people. It beats the previous record held by – Lee Evans.


Comebacks Kids
It seems all the new acts breaking this year are just old acts coming back together, in return for shed loads of cash. The Sex Pistols started their world tour this week. And we here that The Backstreets Boys will also be back - all right!


Wino ‘Engulfed in Shame’
Engulfed. Nice choice of word by the Jazz Popstar this week to describe how she felt after the shame of her drug overdose. Bearing in mind the situation in America. She admitted she was stupid and thought she was going to die.

This website will be changing a bit in the next few weeks. It all got a bit higgldy-pigglydy as I added stuff. The new look will be easier for me to add even more great things. And it will be more friendlier for you guys to use it. Plus it will leave me to concentrate on getting more celebs. Things are going to get even better, very soon. So, watch this space.

Please email your stories and tips for the website at john@friendsofcelebrities.com and keep helping the celebs, they need you.

Thanks for signing up and please tell your friends about us.

Founder of Friends of Celebrities

P.S. Hello to Kelly Rowland who I met at Virgin Megastores this week.

Thursday, 25 October 2007

Wednesday, 24 October 2007


Pete Dog-herty has left his fiancee. Why? He wants Kate back, that's why. Get over it, Pete.

Tuesday, 23 October 2007

Los Angeles on Fire

Unfortunately, this is a diagram from an American science textbook. As you can see the fuel in most fires is indeed celebrity housing. We hope the fires get under control soon.

Usually, when there is a disaster the celebs organise a big TV fundraiser. Does that mean, now it's they who are in trouble, us normal folk have to pass the tin around and raise cash? Homeless Celebrities are no good to us at all. Mother Nature, give these guys a break. And that goes for you arsonists too.

Give Dog-herty a break

The poor guy has just weened himself off Heroin and Crack and all the papers and magazines are laughing and complaining that he is fat!! Well, what do you expect? When he was strung out on Horse, 'eating' probably wasn't the first thing on his out of control mind. It's called looking after yourself. Don't listen to them Pete, go up to buffet and help yourself to thirds.

Kid Ruck - Round 2

Fresh from his victory punch up with Tommy Lee at the MTV awards. Kid Rock was in the mood for some argy bargy yesterday at Waffle House. After a waffle customer recognised one of the girls with Rock, words were exchanged before talks collapsed into fisty-cuffs.

Sunday, 21 October 2007

Screwed Up Celebrity Quiz

Good luck! Answer on Friday.

This weeks fantastic newsletter...

Click here for the full insatiable truth of this weeks news. If you didn't get it in your inbox it's because you haven't signed up here. So do it now!!!

Friday, 19 October 2007

Screwed Up Celebrity Quiz Answer was...

Bit of a trick one this week, as it's our first ever dead screwed up celebrity - Marilyn Monroe. Did you get it? Click here for more Screwed Up Celebrity Quizzes. More next week.

Winehouse arrested for possesssion

The singer has a bit more to declare than her genius while preparing for a gig in Sweden. Cops came to her hotel to find 7 grams of weed! She was promptly marched off to the station where she paid a small fine and then came back straight away to do the gig. Witnesses said she was very relaxed about it all. Well, I wonder why that was?

Angelina off to Rehab?

There are whispers that Angelina has told Brad she wants to go to rehab. No, not for her addiction to adopting kids. Seems her recent weight loss is due to the stress of losing her mother. Exactly what she needs rehabilitation from, we're not sure. I'm guessing depression or even possibley an eating disorder. Get well soon.

Thursday, 18 October 2007

Lohan is back - and on form

Good news. The child-star hellraiser is out of Rehab and back in business. It's good to hear that the trip seems to have been a successful one. We hope that she stays off the drugs and stays healthy. But fans won't be dissappointed that she hasn't lost any of her personality. She's already grabbing the headlines with her new rocker boyfriend, who she met in Rehab, is also an-ex druggie and it seems she has stolen him from his fiancee. Ooops!

Monday, 15 October 2007

Screwed Up Celebrity Quiz

Who is it this week? It's a bit of a trick one. Good luck!!!

Friday, 12 October 2007

Screwed Up Celebrity Quiz Answer was...

Owen Wilson. That cheeky comedy chap. Hope he recovers well after the attempted suicide bid. See you next week for more fun. And visit the previous weeks QUIZ right here. Horrah!

We were right!

Probably. The only difference between this NEXT WEEKS NEWS ARTICLE and yesterdays real story was the amount (add and extra £10 million). Oh well, Paul, you still got another £825million left.

Wednesday, 10 October 2007

Meet Liz Hurley

Click here for details on how to meet Liz Hurley in Londons Selfridges on Thursday 11th October.

Britney passes drugs test

Good news for Britney. Well, as good as it gets these days. She has passed her first random drugs test, ordered by the judge in her custody battle. She also has applied for a job as a bramaid at the fashionable Viceroy Hotel. Hang on, she doesn't need a job!

That must be one of the un-predictable behaviours that means her estranged father thinks it is right to get lawyers to find a way of forcing Britney to go to rehab. Helpful? What I reckon is a nice steady job in a local hotel would do Britney the world of good. Problem is that her superstardom means she can't do that. I'm sure she'll work it out without anyone wading in for their fifteen minutes of fame.

Sooty Drugs Shame

Don't forget to check out NEXT WEEKS NEWS every week. Where we rip up the weeks magazines and predict the future stories. Or click on the menu on the right. Go on, it's a bit of fun!

And the Q Award winners are...

Better late than never. Here were the winners.

Sunday, 7 October 2007

Screwed Up Celebrity Quiz

Who is it this week? Don't miss out on the answer on Friday. Good luck!

This weeks newsletter

If you haven't recieved your newsletter click here to read it now. Remember to SIGN UP HERE and receive the newsletter free every week and be in with the chance to be matched up with one of the Celebrities.

Friday, 5 October 2007

Screwed Up Celebrity Quiz Answer was...

Pamela Anderson. Congratulations on her third engagement this week. Click here for the previous week's Screwed Up Celebrity Quiz.Enjoy!!!

Pete Doherty out of Rehab

Pete Doherty is out of rehab and if reports are to be believed he won't be going back for a while. The uncontrollable Pete has apparantly been cured of his addictions and ready to make a comeback. Although, I reckon it's in his character and it won't be long before he's back in. So if any of you Friends of Celebrities see him around - by him a coffee and give him a pat on the back.

He's going to need it, as just before he came out police confirmed that he could be questioned about the death of a reveller from the window of a party Pete was at. The man was alleddgedly trying to escape Pete's minder.

Thursday, 4 October 2007

Celebrity Warning Signs - Cameras, slow down.

Apologies for yet another celebrity warning sign and another Britney post. But its too easy. Plus it should be a warning to all celebrities. Don't film yourself having sex!

It may fell like a good idea at the time, but from Eva Longoria to Pamela Anderson to Paris to...er...Britney Spears before, experience tells us they always come out. Especially, when it's a one night stand. And so it seems another Britney sex tape will soon be available under the counter of a dodgy video shop near you.

Also, Britney failed to turn up for court again after losing custody of her kids, leaving her lawyer to weasel out her excuses and explain why she's a reliable mother, while all the evidence is to the contrary. K-Fed however was praised by the judge as he turned up in a suit. That's all it took - a suit (and an eye patch?) What a creep. Yes. But a clever creep.

Wednesday, 3 October 2007

Celebrity Warning Signs

It never seems to be good news with Britney these days. As you know she lost custody of her two children. Are we suprised? She has to learn that the whole world knows what she is doing, let alone the judge who had her future relationship with her children in his hands.

So when she's told she can't consume alcohol 12 hours before seeing her children, she can't get sloshed at a nightclub and think that no one will find out. (That was one reason the judge gave for denying her custody.)

And when she was told not to drive with the kids without a proper licence, paparrazzi are going to take photos and if the judge don't see them himself in Hello! mag then K-Fed's lawyer is sure to lend him a copy. (The second reason).

Plus she couldn't be bothered to sign some documents the judge ordered her to, despite the fact she was given a tip off to 'jump through hoops' in order to win custody (the third reason).

Britneys family are reported to be worried the star will kill herself, although she has been carrying on as normal and has an album out in 6 weeks. We hope that goes well for her, she could do with some good news.

Monday, 1 October 2007